Do You or Have You Ever Dealt with Career Regrets?

Those of you who know me well now that I am always on the happy go lucky side. The glass is always half full. (Unless it had Diet Pepsi in it, then it is downed in a matter of seconds.) Those of you who really know me then this next statement is one that will not surprise you. If I have one regret it is that I never pursued a career in music, specifically singing. 

I love to sing and as a stubborn, rebellious teen when it came to taking direction from adults, i decided to stop singing, because that is what everyone thought I should do. So instead of following what everyone told me what I should do, I rejected them and went on a quest to see what I really loved. My quest has taken me to many places and has given me to opportunity to do many things. I have had jobs working with dolphins, sea lions, pilot whales, Risso's dolphins, orcas, lions, wolves, and many other exotic animals. I have worked as a Cast Member at the "Happiest Place on Earth" and am "Very Good Friends" with all the characters who were 6'2" and above. I worked at a first of its kind company that was the innovator in computerized income tax processing, as an undocumented worker in a foreign country for a professional athletic team, bartended in some of the most prestigious places in the United States, a had short term stint working behind the scenes in television, peer tutored deaf students, taught athletics and physical fitness, travel counselor for well to do clients, ordained minister, along with other interesting jobs. When I moved to Vegas, the music bug hit me again. This time singing was on my terms and I realized how much I loved to sing. And I had a lot to sing about. I was given the opportunity to be not only a wedding singer, but a funeral singer. I have sung at more funerals than I have at weddings, and I began to wonder why I never pursued singing as a career. I haven't the foggiest notion as to start a career as a singer.

Now that I am in my 60's I know that it is difficult to try to take up singing as a career, but if it is possible and if I could make enough money to do it I would in a heartbeat even today. I have been singing regularly to a crowd up to 1,200 people a week and I still sing with heart, passion and emotion, but my voice is beginning to wane. I have always thought that one day I would do a duet with Cyndi Lauper because her music is so poignant or be a back up singer for Lady Gaga because i am just different enough to pull it off.

I often wonder if others have had regrets about career choice, and if so how did you change them? I would love to hear what they were and what you did if anything to change the situation. You can be anonymous or if you aren't shy, stand up and let me know how you dealt with it. No judgement here. Thanks. Let's start a conversation.

P.S. If you have a connection with Cyndi Lauper or Lady Gaga, let them know I am available. 😁

A Gift of Compassion and Angels in Uniforms

At the end of November in 2013 Mike and I got an email from a friend of ours who is stationed in northern Afghanistan. He had a simple request, that if it was at all possible, to send children's used winter clothing and other essentials that he and his fellow service men could donate to an orphanage. I decided to put out this request out to my friends on Facebook. My Facebook post was as follows:

Hope you are all having a Happy Thanksgiving. Regardless of political views, we are all still very fortunate to live in this wonderful country called the USA and have a lot to be thankful for.

Just over 10 years ago, I was so blessed to be able to sing at our friends' wedding in Monaghan, Ireland. This couple are devoted Americans and live to insure our freedom on different fronts. They are a very selfless couple. Tom has been in the reserves for as long as I have known him. He has a good job and chose to go to Afghanistan with the reserves, putting himself in harms way even though he never had to do so. Did I mention he is selfless? He sent out an email to his friends asking if they could help him out before his tour ends.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you know that Afghanistan has had a lot of turmoil from many sides for decades. One of the biggest casualties is that there are many orphans. In the village near his camp there is an orphanage and he and his fellow officers and enlisted men and women would like to give hope to some of these orphans. The orphanage isn't asking for anything extravagant, they need essentials. They are looking for the following items:

blankets
bed linens
children's winter clothing (hats, glove, jackets, boots)
toiletries (toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, hand sanitizer, shampoo, etc)
laundry detergent

If you can donate, you can send your package before December 5, 2013 to the following:

LTC THOMAS S. DOUGHERTY
PATG-NORTH
CAMP MIKE SPANN
APO AE 09368

If you can donate, please let me know so I can email Tom so he can track the packages. I think it would be awesome if Tom got tons of stuff to show those in Afghanistan that Americans may not be the enemy.

Feel free to copy and post if you like. Not sure my privacy settings allow you to share. I also am not bombarding groups, because I know that there are many deserving causes out there and if posting in groups, it may distract from the groups' intentions.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and have a Happy Thanksgiving.

Rick Ziggy Pawlowski

Not sure what the response would be, I had hoped that this would go slightly viral and that Tom and his comrades would be able to bring some cheer and comfort to the orphans of the area.







If you knew Tom and his wife Karyn, you would love them. They really are a remarkable couple. 


Tom sent an email to us thanking us for the donations. I had also received several responses from those who read and shared my original Facebook post that they would help. It is obviously difficult for Tom to get information out due to the logistics of his location in Afghanistan, but his wife was able to send out some pictures of the generosity of those of you who were able to get a package off to him.  I have included the pictures of the joy that was brought to that section of the world. I know that Tom would love to thank each of you who participated by sending items and even if it was only moral support, Tom and his colleagues are truly grateful. From the pictures that I have received, I have seen some of the items we actually sent and I am sure you can probably see some of yours too. Your generosity is remarkable.

 
It looks like this is a picture of Tom sharing treats with the children. We are just glad he wasn't sharing the cigars we sent to him for Christmas.


This looks like one of Tom's colleagues fitting a child with a warm parka for the cold Afghan winters.

Please enjoy the photos and know that you have made a difference in the hearts of impressionable children, who do not know hate, have suffered loss and who deserve to know trust and love.

The love and generosity is very apparent in the faces of these children who are orphans, as a result of tribal fighting and of generations of war. No child should have to endure this plight, but unfortunately in the world there are so many children who deal with this daily.

Thank you for all your gifts of compassion and thank you Tom and the other angels in uniform for making us realize how fortunate we Americans are. Even if these offerings changes one heart, we have made a difference.

Fay Anne Hardner Dye

It is sort of ironic that I am writing this. I was going to write a piece on the death of a friend or family member and how we cope with it. Actually it was more of a way to deal with the fact that some blame God. Not so much for their passing but for what God had put them through with their lives. I am not sure I am going to cover that in this blog, but I do want to celebrate the life of one of my longest friends known. I only have two other friends that I am still in contact with that I have known that long. And for that I have Facebook to thank. There is still one more out there and hope one day that person will come around and say hello. I can't comment on Fay's life, but I can comment on my life and how Fay was a part of it.

Fay Ann Hardner Dye

I met Fay on the first day of kindergarten. It was the first time I was going to be away from my family and I was really scared. I was clutching my mom's hand, eyes red from crying in the office of the school. Fay and her mother, along with another mom and daughter were there as well to check into the school. Fay seemed very indifferent to the whole experience of school. I, on the other hand, was completely terrorized that I would not be with my parents in the familiar confines of our own home and I would be left in the hands of total strangers to care for me for several hours, which back when you are five seemed like a lifetime. I remember my mom walking me by the hand from the office to our kindergarten class and Fay was right there along with many other kids. When my mom left the separation anxiety really kicked in. I was bawling my eyes out pleading for my mom not to leave. Looking around I had made a spectacle of myself. There was not one familiar face in that bunch. None of these kids were from my neighborhood. The looks I got back were mostly blank stares, some of the kids were giggling because of my behavior and a few looked like they were on the verge or joining my anxious crying, but didn't. Damn them. And there was that one indifferent face looking at me again. Pale milky skin, dark short hair, tidy dress, head tilted down slightly as if she were looking over a pair of glasses with those big doe eyes. Those eyes had a sparkle in them that had mischief all over them. It was a start of a friendship that has lasted.

Come to find out Fay only lived a few blocks away, but for a youngster, a few blocks was a long way. We were lucky to live in a town that had a lot of parks. Life was much easier then as well. We would walk to school even in kindergarten without the fear of any outside interference.We would often meet in the park either by my house or by her house. We did spend a lot of time together. The best way to explain things about our childhood together is from Facebook conversations we have had over they years. Reading them this morning brought tears to my eyes.

May 4th, 2013, 7:19pm

Fay Anne: Do you remember when you first came to Center Street? My Mother did. She told me that you and your Mother were in the office when we came in. You were standing there holding your Mothers hand and as my Mother put it; "balling your eyes out cause you didn't want your Mother to leave you. I wish you could have herd the way my Mother told the story it was cute. But she remembered you and told Rebecca and me when she was here for our 30th. I read the "Spotlight" story and while I was reading it that Center St. story came to mind. I thought it might give you a little laugh. Congratulations on being recognized. Could you tell me what the colors mean in the Tartan you designed for State of Nevada? I also have an article I will send you on a study of Traditional Kilt wearing men. I think you will enjoy it. Take care,

 Rick Ziggy: I remember it like it was yesterday. I also remember your composure. And the composure of Kerin Tyrrell, and I couldn't understand why either of you weren’t upset. It was the start of life long friendships

This friendship still goes on in my heart. Fay was always mischievous but something happened to her in Jr. High that turned her into a real wild child that we all came to know and love. My family had moved from our beloved town, ignoring my protests the summer before Jr high. I went to this huge public school in the LA County School District. I think there were more students at that school than the total population of El Segundo at the time. So for the first part of my 7th grade I missed out on all my friends at El Segundo. I didn't know that when you went to Jr high that people changed, so when I came back to El Segundo in the second semester of 7th grade, was a real culture shock. Fay had blossomed from a mischievous pixie type to a "hippie chick".  Fay and I still remained friends, but instead of hanging out at the parks, it would usually be at "Devil's Path". And when we went to high school, we sort of drifted apart, but would keep each other company walking home from school.

Graduating from high school everyone tended to drift in different directions. I had lost contact with Fay completely along with many of my other childhood friends. Reunions were the times to catch up and unfortunately Fay did not attend the 10 year reunion. Then when the 20 year arrived, I was saddened to see that Fay's name appeared on the Memorial Board of fellow classmates who had passed. It was a such a delight to see that Fay showed up at the 30 year reunion. She actually won the award of traveling the furthest to the 30th reunion, because we all thought that you couldn't travel further than returning from the dead. Fay and I had a great laugh from Facebook post like this:

August 10, 2011 6:48 pm

Fay Anne: Hey Rick! Just wanted to say hello. Hope all is well with you and Mike. Tell him I said hello

 Rick Ziggy: Funny, I was just thinking about you today. Hope all is well with you. Mike I doing a bit better.

Fay Anne: You were!? Hope it was good thoughts!

 Rick Ziggy: Yes they were great thoughts. Actually, I was came across the 20 yr reunion book that listed you as passed away and I just laughed because I was so happy that you showed up to the 30 yr reunion.

Fay Anne: Believe me I was happy too!

 Rick Ziggy: LMAO!

Over the years Fay and I became very close. We found out we had many similarities. We were both very close to our mothers. We both hated big changes in our lives. We started to think back on how easy life in El Segundo was. There were never any big worries and most of the worries were just paranoid people that were out there.  We also had to deal with the changing roles of caring of our parents, the death of our parents and the presence of our parents after their death. The whole time Fay was always loving and comforting. She made Mike and I feel that we not the only ones that felt the same way we did.

October 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Fay Anne: Mother, Hazel Hardner

Fay Anne: Hello there. Just thought you might like to know that my Mother passed away Tuesday morning, October 12. She was 94. The funeral was last Saturday the 23. It's so hard to believe she's gone. She was making plans for her 100th. Hope all is well with you & Mike. Hope to hear from you soon.

 Rick Ziggy: Sorry to hear about your mom. We are both praying for you & your family. It seems that Mike's mom is giving up, but my mom is going strong at 89. Slower but still strong. Hope you are okay.

Fay Anne: Thank you Rick & Mike, as well as can be expected.

September 3, 2011 8:09 am

Fay Anne: Sorry to hear about Mike's Mother. Please extend my deepest condolences, I do know just how he feels.

Fay Anne: Please give my Mike condolences.

 Rick Ziggy: Thank you so very much. I will. How are you coping since your mom has left us?

Fay Anne: It's hard Mom & I were very close, Christmas last year was real rough. I went all out on decorating, for Mom. And Rick, she hasn't left us. She's always with me.

 Rick Ziggy: I know. we have mike's mom's presence with us all the time.

Fay Anne: Both my Mom & Dad passed here in the house, and it is very interesting here at times.

 Rick Ziggy: same here, but we dare not tell most people for fear that they think we were crazy

Fay Anne: I may be crazy too. I have no problem relating to friends about my parents presence. And frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. LOL

 Rick Ziggy: We get a real sense of comfort when we see, hear or feel her presence

Mike, Fay and I all suffered the loss of our mothers within just over a year. Mother's Day was very difficult for us because of being orphans. After a post I put out on Facebook for Mother's Day Fay, with all her compassion and love contacted me again in Facebook messaging:

FACEBOOK POST: [Getting ready to perform another wedding service, and more in the wings. I am so very blessed of the opportunities that God has given me. It only goes to prove that you should try anything ethical you can to see what you really love. I have been a lot of things over the years from working with Killer Whales to being a minister and a whole lot in between. You truly have one life so live it to the fullest, and if there is an offset chance you live another life, you aren't going to remember this life, so have a great time and remember that anything that happens in your life can be a challenge or and experience. It's your choice. Choose wisely.

 

This is in memory of all the Mothers that have touched our lives. They may not have been our mothers and they may have not even been mothers at all, but they were women who nurtured us and comforted us in times of trouble and praised us in times of glory. Remember to treat everyone who is in your life with love and compassion, because if they are gone, it will be quite some time before we can see them face to face again.]

May 5th, 7:54am

Fay Anne: Good morning Rick, just read your post. I have to admit I still have tears in my eyes. You truly are a remarkable person. I am so glad to be able to call you friend. Even if we haven't been in touch. Thank you

 Rick Ziggy: Getting that point in time to ponder your Blessings. We have known each other for over 50 years. From the first day of school, the walks to see that mynah bird say "Hello Malcolm", to rolling down the hill at sycamore park, to you walking down the hall in Jr High after the drug recognition class saying "Ah, I love that smell" referring to the pot incense aroma that was filling the halls, to my heartbreak of your demise at the 20 year reunion and to my delight when you were resurrected at the 30 year reunion. Still remember your mom in her wavy white hair, her penciled eyebrows, usually in black with a chunky necklace. I will never forget her quick wit and your in your face personality. Although we may not keep in touch as we did in school, you are one that is always on my mind and in my heart. Some friendships break all rules. I consider you more family than friend. Never judging, always concerned for your welfare and forever grateful for the history we share together.

Fay Anne: Thank you Rick, what is odd as I received you message I was setting here checking out the El Segundo,90245 Facebook page. Then you chimed in and I was done for. I had to take a break cause I couldn't see through the tears to type. I am getting ready to move out of El Segundo to Kansas, I miss my Mother so very much, and now you. You are a very special person and despite not seeing you for years when I think about you a smile always comes to my face. You are truly blessed and by knowing you I feel I have been blessed. Thank you again for being my "Friend", and family.

 Rick Ziggy: Okay. Enough with the mushy stuff. Kansas? You selling the place in El Segundo or are you going to rent it out? Becky is in Burdett, KS & Carrie VanAmburgh is in Durant,OK. So maybe they might be close when you move. At least they are in the vicinity. But Kansas? Really?

That is the last time I heard from her. I miss her dearly, but I take comfort that she is now at peace and know that she is along side her Father and specially her Mother. She is also with my Father and Mother and Mike's Father and Mother. I am sure Fay is rounding them all up and having Fay's Mom, Hazel tell the story of how Fay and I met for the first time in that school office and they are all having a great laugh at that crying red eyed kid. I am still that kid with red eyes from crying, but now it is for the loss of a real lifelong friend.